The "Terrible Twos/Threes" - A Survival Guide

To the Parents who have officially entered the " Tumultuous Twos/Threes" and an ode to the ones who have survived it!

*Group hug*

You have officially unlocked a level of toddler mayhem that will leave you in stitches, and possibly questioning your sanity. Here is my mini survival guide to help you navigate this uncharted territory with laughter and while trying to maintain your sanity. Gosh, I wish someone written this for me when I was been hazed by two my tiny dictators in 2014, and 2020, respectively! 

First, somewhere between after their second or third birthday, you get sequel to a Hollywood blockbuster, but this time it’s accompanied by more tantrums, sticky hands, and random outbursts of delightful (or not so delightful) chaos. You had heard about the "Terrible Twos" as parents worse time but guess what those parents had not yet experienced the Tumultuous Threes which takes that more verbally expressive cutie to a whole new level of toddler madness…. And the most random or inopportune times.

Your sweet baby who you were excited about meeting their milestones has now somehow morphed into a bundle of energy, mischief, and unpredictable behavior. One minute they're sweetly playing with their toys, and the next they're engaged in a full-blown meltdown because their sandwich was cut into squares instead of triangles even though they demanded squares JUST YESTERDAY. It's a rollercoaster of emotions that rivals any amusement park ride, and you are the lucky ticket holder! *say cheese*

Now, let's dive into this mini survival guide to help you navigate this uncharted territory while maintaining some level of sanity… especially if it happens in a public place

1. Embrace the "Why?" Avalanche: Brace yourselves for the never-ending barrage of "Why?" questions. From the existential to the utterly nonsensical, your curious toddler will leave no stone unturned. Embrace the opportunity to flex your creative problem-solving skills and answer with outlandish explanations that will leave them questioning their own inquiries.

2. The "Selective Hearing" Phenomenon: Prepare to experience the mind-boggling phenomenon of selective hearing. Your little one can hear the faintest sound of a chocolate wrapper being opened from a mile away, but when it comes to picking up their toys or following simple instructions, it's like they've suddenly developed an uncanny ability to tune you out. *grrrrr*

3. The Infamous Fashion Show Fiasco: Say goodbye to those adorably coordinated outfits and hello to mismatched socks, superhero capes worn to the grocery store, and rain boots on a sunny day. Your toddler's fashion sense will defy all logic and make fashionistas around the world rethink their choices. Embrace that creativity and snap pictures for future blackmail material!

4. The Internal Snack Attack Alert System: Prepare for the unavoidable snack attack alert system, where your little one's cravings can strike at any moment. I know you just fed them but there is always room for a snack. Be ready to dodge flying goldfish crackers, catch the steam of juice from the straw from the box they squeezed a little too aggressively, and work on your snack negotiation skills. Remember, a well-fed toddler is a slightly less terrifying toddler.

5. Dance Parties and Spontaneous Concerts: Get your dancing shoes ready because your living room is about to transform into a concert hall. Your toddler will break out into impromptu dance parties and showcase their vocal talents at the most unexpected times. Embrace the chaos, join in, and become their biggest fan. Who knows, you might even discover hidden dance moves you never knew you had!

This phase is just…. Just a phase. It’s a blip in the grand tapestry of parenting things like puberty for instance, lol. So instead of getting frustrated, embrace the hilarity, find support in fellow parents who are navigating the same uncharted waters, and always keep a secret stash of chocolate for those moments when laughter is the only medicine.

Wishing you laughter-filled days and sanity-saving moments,

Chief Navigator of the Tumultuous Twos/Threes x 2